I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
