am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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