Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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