am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
