The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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