I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
