Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
