At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
