Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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