Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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