I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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