That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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