Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
