There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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