glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
