You're my little dorito
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
