I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
