Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
ok first of all what the fuck
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
