I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
