big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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