I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You ruined the universe
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
