Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize