hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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