i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
