I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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