I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Randomize
