I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
