He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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