Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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