hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
BRING THE BAGELS
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
