last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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