And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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