But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize