I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This house was built for laser tag.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
