my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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