Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
be right there i have to get my cape
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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