That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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