Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
