I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
