My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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