We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
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im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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