hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
