you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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