Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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