I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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