Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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