you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
