Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
