You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
