The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
zippers are such a cool invention
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
