just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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