Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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