I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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