WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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