I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
