dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
