I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
