You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
