So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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