Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
