The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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