You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize