if you like me you must not know who I am
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
