i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
